| 26-01-2010 05:58 PM |
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... | Edited by
onehitwonder 28-02-2010 07:51 PM
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drewb147
General Member
Comfy slippers stage
Posts: 256
Joined: 08.09.09
Location: Cumbernauld
Age: 27
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Get your favourite jokes up on the site lads cheer it up a bit! It's like osamas cave on here recently man!! |
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| 26-01-2010 06:01 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... | Edited by
themouse 26-01-2010 06:29 PM
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drewb147
General Member
Comfy slippers stage
Posts: 256
Joined: 08.09.09
Location: Cumbernauld
Age: 27
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I can still remember play time at school. A bit of footy,sneakin a quick cigarette & tryin2 finger girls behind the bike sheds..
I loved that janny's job ! |
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| 26-01-2010 06:10 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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You asked for it
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 06:11 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
jontee18
General Member
I bloody live here!!
Posts: 1188
Joined: 09.09.09
Location: Carrickstone
Age: 25
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Did ye hear about the guy that lived in a tyre?
He got a puncture!
Now lives in a flat
Anybody want 2 tap me a BJ tae Monday?
The Deadly Doubler |
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| 26-01-2010 06:15 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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A girl goes to the doctor with a green rash on her inner thighs. The doc looks, laughs and says ''Are you by any chance a lesbian?'' The girl replies ''Yes, why?'' The doc says ''You can tell your girlfriend her earrings aren't gold''
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 06:22 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... | Edited by
Housty 26-01-2010 11:27 PM
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Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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A woman in a taxi lifts her skirt and says to the driver ''Can I pay you with this?'' Cabby (haha) looks at her and says '' have you not got anything smaller?'' |
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| 26-01-2010 06:26 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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How do you know when you're dating a dirty lazy bitch? When you ask for a blow job and she says ''I'm too tired, just w-nk in a cup and I'll drink it in the morning''
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 06:32 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
jontee18
General Member
I bloody live here!!
Posts: 1188
Joined: 09.09.09
Location: Carrickstone
Age: 25
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Did ye hear about the carrot n the leak that got married?
Big turnip at the weddin!
Anybody want 2 tap me a BJ tae Monday?
The Deadly Doubler |
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| 26-01-2010 06:33 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
jontee18
General Member
I bloody live here!!
Posts: 1188
Joined: 09.09.09
Location: Carrickstone
Age: 25
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How long does a pig squeal for wae a hot poker up its arse?
About a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Anybody want 2 tap me a BJ tae Monday?
The Deadly Doubler |
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| 26-01-2010 06:38 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
drewb147
General Member
Comfy slippers stage
Posts: 256
Joined: 08.09.09
Location: Cumbernauld
Age: 27
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Housty.....superb m8 
jt primary 7 jokes won't be tolerated m8 get with it!! |
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| 26-01-2010 06:40 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
jontee18
General Member
I bloody live here!!
Posts: 1188
Joined: 09.09.09
Location: Carrickstone
Age: 25
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Ma jokes are the bomb
Anybody want 2 tap me a BJ tae Monday?
The Deadly Doubler |
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| 26-01-2010 11:14 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... | Edited by
Big Dog 26-01-2010 11:16 PM
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Big Dog
General Member
Settling in.....
Posts: 67
Joined: 10.12.09
Age: 25
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man goes to the doctors and says, "doctor i canny break and dish worth a monekys" Doctor replies, campbell go and put in the practice then
woooooof |
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| 26-01-2010 11:30 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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drewb147 wrote:
Housty.....superb m8
jt primary 7 jokes won't be tolerated m8 get with it!!
There's plenty more where that came from. Sadly not all as good though
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:33 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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Wife with pmt: Do you want any dinner?
Husband: What are the choices?
Wife: AYE OR FCUKIN NAW
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:36 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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Chinese man rings his boss: "Me no work, I sick"
Boss says "when I'm sick, I have sex with my wife, try that"
2 hours later the Chinese man rings back: "Me better, you got nice house"
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:46 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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An old couple come out of a shop to find a traffic warden writing a ticket. "What the fcuk are you doing?" says the old man.
"Just doing my job" says the warden.
"You dirty black fcuker" shouts the woman.
"I'm afraid you're getting another ticket because of your abuse" he says.
"Fcukin monkey knob"shouts the man.
"Right sir, I'm having this vehicle clamped and taken away". He phones for a towtruck which lifts the car and drives off.
"Well Jessie" says the man, "before we get the bus home, will we see if we can find any more cars with Rangers stickers in the window?"
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:53 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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Little 5 year old Daisy sees a group of workmen turn up next door to build a house. She takes an interest and starts to talk to them. The builders with hearts of gold adopt her as their mascot. After a week, they present her with a pink hard hat, gloves and a wage packet with £5 in it. "Goodness" says her mum, "are you going to work with them next week?"
Daisy replies "I think so mummy, provided those cnuts at Jewsons deliver the fcukin bricks"
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:59 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
Housty
KDPL Committee
Moderator
Posts: 930
Joined: 20.08.09
Location: Glasgow
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A tramp goes into a pub and asks the landlord for a cocktail stick, which he gives him.
5 minutes later, another tramp walks in and asks for the same which again, the landlord gives him.
Another 5 minutes pass and another tramp walks into the pub and asks for a straw.
The landlord says "I've just had 2 of your mates in here asking for cocktail sticks but you asked for a straw, why?"
The tramp replies "someone threw up outside but all the best bits have gone"
Form is temporary, luck is permanent. |
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| 26-01-2010 11:59 PM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
drewb147
General Member
Comfy slippers stage
Posts: 256
Joined: 08.09.09
Location: Cumbernauld
Age: 27
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Glaswegian pilot and co-pilot : after landing at Glasgow airport forget to turn off the main intercom , co-pilot says to pilot . What you doing later ? Pilot says . First thing im going to do is go for a big shite then am gonnie shag the arse aff that wee stewardess ! Stewardess hears this and runs to the cockpit to confront him . She trips over a wee auld wummins feet who helps her back up n says - '' Take yer time hen , he's gon fur a shite first ! |
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| 27-01-2010 12:00 AM |
RE:
Jokes - SOME LANGUAGE MAY BE OFFENSIV... |
drewb147
General Member
Comfy slippers stage
Posts: 256
Joined: 08.09.09
Location: Cumbernauld
Age: 27
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My wife says that I never do anything to 'take her breath away anymore'
I've chucked her inhaler in the bin now, that should do the fuckin trick !!. . . . . . |
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